Sickly Dee -- eeek!

Back on the beginning of the 6th day of April, Brian treated me to a beautiful birthday breakfast and a sweet birthday card...There were birthday balloons on my bike (that remained there for three days...), and a birthday ultimate frisbee disc appeared in my bag! Sweeeet! What a great birthday, and it wasn't even 10:00 AM yet! A birthday coffee was in order, so we went to the only cafe open in Fox Glacier, and ingested a caffeine jolt and almost ordered a plate full of french fries (the example plate at the table next to us was great advertising), but thought against that idea since we had yet to begin our 60-km journey and noon was quickly approaching... A quick stop at Fox Glacier itself, and took some typical or maybe not-so-typical tourist photos. On Brian's camera, we've got a great picture of Brian in the background taking a pee-break, and one smiling Dee in the foreground laughing at having caught Brian with his pants down... so to speak. The balloons on my bike got a swaggering good ride all the way to Bruce Bay, and to the bed and breakfast Brian had arranged. Malai, our Thai host, was the sweetest thing. She made us feel at home right away and told some seriously interesting and rather bizarre stories to entertain us while we ate her delicious food. Check out the muscles Malai picked from the ocean - the shells were three or four inches long. Sooo goooood, minus the odd grain of sand... Malai cooked a Thai meal so scrumptious that I wanted to take her with us for the rest of our trip. Too bad she won't fit in my paniers. The following morning, we thought about sticking around Malai's place for one more night to rest and relax, but thought we may be better making some more ground (70 kms) while the weather was decent. We had a terrific day of riding side by side, talking about everything, and bumping into more cyclists than ever before. For this area of the west coast being so remote, I was happy to be there, and surprised to meet so many others. We ended up in Haast, and to our surprise the small, and creepy town was alive with tourists, most likely because it was Easter. My feelings for Haast haven't changed since the last time I was there: it kind of sucks. Sorry Haast, but you just don't do it for me.... We did manage to scrounge together a sweet meal of cous-cous, salmon, peas and some beet root on the side (all canned goods). Mmm, mmm! Yes, if you look closely, there is a wine bottle on the table too; Guilty as charged. The night sleeping in the tent was not completely restful, and in the morning I had a bit of a sore throat... I know what that means, but I was trying to ignore it. I didn't want to end up sick, and even worse, I didn't want to end up sick in Haast of all places. Ugh. So, we departed Haast and after a half hour of feeling kind of crappy, my body picked up energy and my spirits rose and we spotted the sweetest lunch spot next to the river! Some bicyclists told us that once we reached a big bridge, there would be a rather large hill right around the bend. Okay, sure, it couldn't be that bad, could it? They came down the hill the day before and said that their bike rims were HOT from all the braking they were forced to do... Still, it couldn't be too terrible..... This next picture is our last look at something beautiful before the bastard mountain was upon us. The sky was clear, our hearts were open, our pores were already sweating..... And then BAM! We met Haast Pass. I'm beginning to think that anything with the name 'Haast' in it can't be a good thing. The top of Haast Pass is 564 m above sea level. Keep in mind that we started at sea level (aka Haast). There is a point at which you think there isn't a road steep enough to prevent you from pedalling, and then there is a point at which you toss that idea into the ditch, along with your bike. Somehow I managed to stay on my bike, and pedalled the entire pass, but the first hour was constant uphill with no small switchbacks or places with minor decreases in the angle of inclination (the engineers of this road were not cyclist-friendly), I was pedalling in my lowest gear (clearly not low enough), and the curses were a-flying. My favourite was "This is horse shit!" Eventually, we made it to the top. Oddly enough, we were psyching ourselves out thinking that there was more to come, more steep-ass hard core craziness, but in the end, we did it without a hitch, just plenty of grunting and swearing. So this is the top, not extremely rewarding: And here I am giving Haast Pass a kick in the ass, just like it deserves. Just over the hill, we took refuge in a small campsite along with fifty-thousand of our closest sand fly friends. Lucky for us, it was cold out and full-bodied clothing was required so the only exposed skin areas were our faces, and for some reason sand flies don't frequently bite on the head. We set up camp, enjoyed the sunset, and made some grub to replenish all the calories expended on that damned 'hill'. Dried pasta and baked beans = cyclists' delight. Especially with Baked Bean Superhero cheering us on. They put superheroes on everything here in NZ. I wonder why? Well, I bought this can of beans instead of the other can of beans just because there is a superhero on it. Maybe that's why they do it; for suckers like me who enjoy laughing at a sly cartoon guy in tights, sponsoring the mighty brown bean, with a can opener hanging from his belt. Super dooper. With me feeling less than optimal the next morning, we pushed through to the nearest town, which was more like a small, unfriendly cafe on the side of the road. We spent entirely too much money on two coffees and two pieces of quiche (I'm actually embarrassed to say how much money we spent at this crummy little place)...... I was a little off my rocker, and laughed at myself after hearing these words come out of my mouth: "The coffee is luke warm, but tasts good. The quiche is luke warm, but tastes good. I'm luke warm, and I bet I taste good." That got a chuckle from Brian, as did the post card I bought from this crummy little cafe: a lovely photo of non other than the Haast Pass! My best buddy Sarah is the lucky recipient of this postcard, and even thought she will be seeing this online well before receiving it in Vancouver, I figured it was too awesome not to post on this bog. I wrote on the top, "This is horse shit!", on the road I drew splotches of "blood", "sweat", "tears", and I also mentioned the rediculous angle of inclination. The reverse side of this postcard is much too R-rated for this blog, so I'll save the surprise for Sarah when she checks her mail... The scenes along the way towards Wanaka are super nice, and very photogenic. I would have stayed longer to enjoy, but I was feeling a bit worse and worse as we rode and all I wanted to do was make it to Wanaka. My nostrils were on fire and my lungs were about to expire, as in expiration date and not expiration of air. AHHHHHHH! But I kept riding. Stubborn Dee. Frig. Coughing and sputtering and cursing every and all uphill, especially the one that appeared to be made for the sole purpose of giving automobile-driving tourists an elevated 'look out' over the lake. Cripes. I'm going to write a letter, I swear.... Anyway, with my health quickly deteriorating, and the speed of my cycling favouring the direction my health was taking, we finally arrived at a small gas station at the bottom of Lake Hawea. I attempted to psych myself up for the next 16 kms to Wanaka with one half of an energy bar and a crappy, yet hot, machine-spewing mochachino. The woman behind the counter, Susan, noticed my state and kindly offered to drive us the rest of the way into Wanaka in her truck. Under normal circumstances, I am stubborn and would have passed the offer, but on this day it was exactly what I needed, so accepted without looking back. Now that we are resting in Wanaka, we are sending a thank you card to "Susan Behind the Counter at the Hawea Mobile Petrol Station", and the words Brian wrote are quite poetic and perfect. Here's a snippet: "Travelling New Zealand by bike has been such a rewarding way to travel - so many lonely roads, so many open skys, so many wonderful people. With nothing to insulate us from the world through which we ride, our experiences have been wonderfully extreme - extremely slow (uphill), extremely fast (downhill), extremely fun. But the odd time, cycle touring can be extremely crappy due to flat tires, grey days, or tired bodies. "Thank you very much Susan for the lift that you gave us to Wanaka on Easter Monday. Your kind and generous help truly made our day." This is what I looked like at dinner time yesterday evening: barely awake with ooozing eyeballs, nostrils, and throat. Still smiling though! That's gotta be worth something! As Brian said to me last night, we're looking forward to the day when my hankies are no longer biohazardous. Yes..... Lucky for me, one night sleep, a full day's sleep, and one more night's sleep, all sweetly interupted with multiple cups of tea, snacks, and healthy meals has made all the difference, and this morning I could actually breathe! To make matters even sweeter, this morning Brian made us the bestest french toast with steaming berries breakfast I think I've ever had: Sickly-Dee is on the way out and Holy-Sweet-Quadracep-Mucles-Dee is emerging quite well. Now it't time to keep resting with more Wanaka-Life interludes.